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Overcoming Shyness

Post date: 2007-07-26

t is often very stressful to date or even try to date when you are shy. However, being shy is basically being afraid of rejection. You can transform yourself from the shy type to the confident person that you should be. The more confident you look, the better response you would get from people.

Stand straight – When standing, pull your stomach muscles in. Your spine would naturally align and your back is straightened. An erect stand is a sigh a confidence. Practice doing this in front of a mirror until it starts to look natural.

Do not cross your arms – The way your body poses tells something about yourself. Crossing your arms while sitting or listening to another person is a sign that you are defensive and shy. This can be stand-offish at times. Learn to avoid this mannerism to give your confidence a boost.

Make eye contact – When meeting people, it is best to look straight at them, focusing on the eyes and face. This does not mean that you are supposed to stare at their eyes, which can look frightening. Keep in mind to make your eyes “smile” by keeping a positive attitude when talking to other people.

Make the first move – Stand close enough to the other person to strike up a conversation. Catch their eye and smile briefly. If they smile back and make a direct eye contact, they are open to talking. Striking up a conversation first may be difficult at first, but would get used to it once more people talk to you and slowly building up your confidence.

Make yourself safe to talk to – When you meet someone you are interested in, be curious about this person. Ask open-ended questions (those that does not end on a yes-or-no answers) and create conversations out of mutual interests to keep the talk going.

Give a compliment – If you do not know how to start a conversation, a compliment is always acceptable. Make a truthful and personal compliment at the other person. However, steer clear from the obvious body parts and instead hone in on detail. Say something that make the other person proud, such as his or her laugh, positive attitude, or confidence among others.

Watch other people's reactions – You can tell if the other person is interested to you by the way he or she reacts towards you. If the person is happy to continue chatting with you, their smile would get wider, they would move closer and lean towards you. If they don't instantly drip with enthusiasm, don't worry because other people get nervous too.

Ask people out one after the other – A brief coffee or lunch usually works best for a first date. Start by chatting the the new person about the activity you are both participating in and then casually ask if the person would like to get together some other time.

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