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Essential Flirting Techniques

Post date: 2007-07-31

In dating, being yourself is not enough. Like how animals show off towards the opposite sex during mating season, humans also tend to show certain actions to indicate that they are attracted towards another person. This is the art of flirting, and you don't have to be a movie star-look a like to make the guys (or girls) go gaga.

For women, the key is to look approachable enough for men to feel comfortable in taking a risk. Meanwhile, men should showcase their masculinity. Here are the essential flirting techniques that you should take note.

Smile – This is the most basic, and absolutely the most effective tool, of flirting. Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive is to show off those whites. Although normal smiling can do wonders, singles usually smile wider when flirting. If a lady locks eyes and smiles at a guy for more than three times in an evening, chances are that she's interested.

Eye contact – We tend to look into the eyes of people we are attracted with, as it is a universal sign of openness. An effective way for a woman to make use of eye contact is to lock eyes with the person she's flirting with for about five to six seconds, then smile and drop her gaze. Remember that looking at his eyes is different from staring at them. This technique involves smoldering, come-hither looks. Do this stare-and-look-away technique at least three times in a ten to fifteen minute-period so that they would send a message to a guy that it is him you're flirting with.

Preening – We tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously when we're attracted to someone either by smoothing down our hair or clothes, checking our lipstick in a compact, or straightening a tie. Try combining a groom gesture with a smile and a gaze. Women should also toss their hair to one side. Not only does it suggest grooming, but also exposes their neck.

Red lips – Men and women are subconsciously attracted to red, moist lips because they signal youth, sex, and fertility. The color red has been known to increase a man's heart rate. For women, wearing a red lipstick is a must. Not only it gives the lips that youthful color, but also makes the smile more visible and your teeth whiter. Adding a coat of super-shiny lip gloss makes the lips look moist and kissable. Meanwhile, men can also put on some lip gloss or try licking their lips (make it subtle as to avoid being misinterpreted) or biting the lower lip.

Women crossing their legs – Crossing and uncrossing the legs is another surefire flirting technique for women, especially if they are wearing high heels. The act of crossing the legs is quite seductive to men, as it makes them desire to see more. Another seduction trick using the legs involve s slipping a heel out of one shoe and dangling it on the toes. The arch of the foot sends a sexual message and mimics a woman's curves.

Women showing off their neck – One of the most effective flirting technique a woman can use is to expose her neck. This is done in different ways, from tilting the head to one side, flipping the hair, or glancing over the shoulder.

Men squaring their shoulders – Women are attracted to more dominant men, so men should stand tall with their shoulders back. For men who have always touted as the “nice guy” or appear to be too submissive to attract women, try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles and clothing. Hold the head up, speak a little faster, and make gestures more assertive.

Men showing off their social status – Men assert themselves when they flirt with women. Not only do they correct their posture, but they also push the assertiveness a little further by showing their social status by, for instance, showing-off cash, speaking about their occupation, and displaying their car.

Feet placement – Subtly make yourself a safe and approachable target. Women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed slightly inward to make them approachable. Meanwhile, men should appear more dominant by standing with the feet 6 to 10 inches apart with toes pointed outward.

Mimicking – People mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting target's behavior. For instance, if she leans forward, you lean forward as well. Mirroring someone's behavior makes your potential date feel as though the two of you are connected and in-tune.

Deepening the attraction – Once you and your flirting target have started talking, fortify your flirting to deepen the attraction. Smile and maintain eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. Nod in approval to signal that you're listening to what the other person has to say. Smile or laugh at the right time to put your potential date at ease. Another flirting technique while talking is low-level touching like bushing the shoulder or elbow.

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