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Unrequited Love? Multiple Messages from the same person?

Post date: 2012-04-24

This topic is one that doesn't only happen on Interracial Dating Sites, it happens on all types of dating sites. Since the issue has come up with so many users and friends of mine, I thought it would be a good topic for discussion.

Today a female friend of mine asked me whether I would considering sending a message to a girl (or "chick" as she said) if she didn't respond to my initial message from a week ago. Immediately I thought this friend of mine was asking a hypothetical question because she had run into the situation where a guy didn't respond to her first message and she was still interested. It took me a few moments to figure out how to properly word my response. I wanted to be clear with my response without hurting my friend's feelings. The response went something like this. "Wow that's a touchy one. I've seen girls send multiple messages even though you didn't reply to the first. There's so many profiles I wouldn't send another message. You're good looking and you pick up men all the time.. no need to double down online." To my surprise she was asking the question because she had received multiple messages from men even though she didn't respond to the first.

She thought it was somewhat concerning (changing the actual adjectives to protect the innocent).

It made me think. Is it normal for people to send multiple messages to one person despite no reply to the first? Does this strategy ever work? While there are plenty of reasons why someone may not respond in a timely fashion to a message: perhaps the person is out of town, perhaps the person is swamped at the office with no time for leisure, or perhaps the person had a death in the family. While these reasons are all plausible, they still don't rank higher than the often harder to accept reason which is: the person may just not have felt there was a good match. Nothing wrong with that.

At the end of the day this is a situation that must be dealt with at the individual level. I could give my own opinion on what you should do in this situation however for all I know there are married couples all across the nation that started in this type of scenario.

What do you think?? Is it appropriate to be persistence in the online dating world or should someone just move on???